30 pieces of wisdom from 30 years of living (part 1)

1.       Be selfish – Okay, keep reading,  I mean this differently than the initial jaw dropping reaction this received from readers. Seth Godin says, “The problem isn’t that it’s impossible to pick yourself. The problem is that it’s frightening to pick yourself. It’s far easier to put your future into someone else’s hands than it is to slog your way forward, owning the results as you go.”Be selfish by spending time working on you; get to the gym, read a book, learn a new language, go back to school.

2.       Drink water – seriously water is not over rated. When I was in the Army there was a common saying we would often hear - “drink water and drive on.” Sure water is not the solution to everything but it sure does solve a lot of problems, because who hasn’t suffered from a serious case of cotton mouth? So, next time you find yourself faced with a problem, suck down some water, suck up the problem and drive on – you are bigger than the challenge in front of you.

3.       Chew with your mouth closed – right now you are thinking of someone who you literally cannot eat around because they chew with their mouth open and not only fear their food is going to land on your plate, but the blood curdling sound of them smacking their lips is enough to make you want to bang your head (or their head) against the table. Chew with your mouth closed, save your head from getting slammed on the table and remember your table manners.

4.       Black socks save the day – nobody has solved the mystery of where socks go after you put them in the washing machine, all we know is you put two in and one comes out. There have been rumors of sock aliens, but so far no scientific evidence to support their existence. The solution to missing socks is to buy only black socks, so when one sock goes missing it doesn’t matter; all of your socks are black and by default match one another. Sure, some would argue the same could be said for white socks, but that is not the case and is merely a statement made by sock armatures. White socks tend to have words written on the bottom of them, or weird colored stitches in the toes, black socks however are just black and you know what they say – once you go black you never go back!  

5.       Floss – Flossing your teeth seems like a waste of time to a lot of people. However, not only will your dentist love you, but you will too when you are old and still have your pearly whites. And remember, your mirror should look like a Jackson Polluck painting after every flossing session, or else you are flossing all wrong.