I woke up this morning with food trucks on my mind. Sarah and I were talking the other day and we agree we are tired of all this preparation. We are ready to have the truck and start taking it out. We have planned and prayed and worked so hard these past months. The truck will be completed relatively quickly now and then the real fun begins! And I do mean fun, because I think we are embarking on the adventure of a lifetime with this endeavor. Yet, as I was thinking about it all this morning, I feel a sense of great responsibility as well. Many people have donated money and time to help us get this project off the ground. Many people are praying for us and encouraging us with their messages.
We want to do amazing things with the resources we have so everyone sees a huge return on his/her investment. What will those returns look like? I daresay they won’t be material possessions or money, which are the usual returns people seek. They won’t be rewards or honors, either. Those are temporary and we are investing in the eternal. These returns will be spiritual. Our prayer is we see lives changed because of the consistent ministry of The Torch. We desire to see people change their lives and way of thinking - to replace hopelessness with hope. If we can overcome great adversity and deeply painful experiences, they can too. We will share our stories and our lives with those we reach out to, showing them what can be done if you persevere.
If someone had told me two years ago I would be standing on the brink of this amazing ministry, feeling the presence of God so deeply and intensely moving and guiding me along the way, I would have doubted. Two years ago I believed God would never be able to use me again. I felt worthless and unloved and like my life was valued by nobody. I was broke and depressed and scared and hurting and very much alone. I had no resources of my own left to draw on. I found myself unable to move forward without depending on God every step of the way. And oh how deeply I hurt.
But He pushed me forward. At the worst moments, when my heart despaired and the tears flowed, He gave me peace. When my mind would not stop racing, He gave me rest. He physically placed me right smack dab in the middle of the most tranquil setting I could ever imagine and He ministered to me daily. He energized my spirit and filled my soul, even when I was too tired and beat down to ask for His help. He picked up my chin and moved me forward. He forgave my many lapses of faith and replaced them with stronger and stronger faith. He removed my sense of worthlessness and filled me with the knowledge of how much He values me - not for what I do or what I say or who I influence, but just for being me.
He changed me.
I had faith in God before I entered that valley; when I emerged, I had FAITH. I don’t even have words to describe what happens when you are spiritually stretched and grown. I think that’s because it is supernatural and there are no words. There is nothing that can happen to me here on Earth that God has not seen before. There is nothing that can happen to me here on Earth that He will not get me through.
I am humbled by the responsibility that lies ahead as I touch the lives of others and share hope with the world. I have spent so much time these past months thinking about the food truck in terms of paint and appliances and wiring and shelving and gas and wheels and engines and insurances and licenses and all the other tangible elements. But there is a spiritual purpose for that truck which is greater than I can even imagine. Whoever built it, wherever they are, may never know they built a vehicle which eventually would serve a Higher purpose: fulfilling a dream and providing opportunities to share hope with the world.