It is possible to find a passion in life so big the world fades away. You might not realize at the beginning of the journey how deeply it matters and how much it can overtake you. You push forward, pursuing your dream, barreling over the obstacles and overcoming the insurmountable. You crawl around on a frozen metal floor, exploring the foreign world of plumbing and electricity, pipes and circuit breakers. Your knees ache and your butt and toes lose feeling from the cold. You stare for hours at a diesel engine, yet another visitor from a foreign land. You watch and hold a light and fetch tools and pray that it will start.
You drive down the road, following at a safe distance, yet protectively guarding the back of your 25,000 pound dream, refusing to allow another car or truck to get too close: praying the whole time. You go to hardware stores for screws and pumps and battery chargers and heat. You take a deep breath and enter the auto store, throwing yourself on the mercy of the associate behind the counter while bracing yourself for the laughter from the entirely male clientele in the store as you explain your need and bare your ignorance. Yet you learn. You learn and you learn and you learn and the foreign begins to become familiar.
You talk to people and message people and connect with strangers and friends alike as you gather donations and support for the dream. You deflect the criticisms and negativity from those who wish to see you quit, or even fail, not even really knowing what to say to them because you understand, without the slightest doubt, you must continue to pursue your dream no matter how impossible it sometimes seems to be.
You make countless visits to grocery stores and bulk food stores, and you find yourself carrying heavier boxes and packages than you ever realized you could. You pack bag after bag, silently praying for the individuals who will be receiving the supplies inside. Your mind goes numb and your shoulders ache as the bags pile up - but you continue until they are done.
You move and go and think and prepare. You practice lighting pilot lights on a propane range, after muscling the awkward and weighty propane tank into place. You repeatedly strain your muscles hauling a heavy water heater up and down three flights of stairs to keep it safe from freezing at night. You feel the tension of the upcoming licensing inspection, and in the back of your mind you wonder if you are crazy for doing this. But there is so much to do and you push those thoughts away and continue to press on. Your muscles ache, your head pounds, you smash your finger with the water heater and it bleeds, but you ignore all those things and you continue to move forward.
You survive the licensing process - come through with flying colors - and it brings great joy, but there is still so much to do because the real object of your passion is just ahead. You go to the job that pays your bills, barely noticing you had no food in the cupboard to make a lunch, so you smeared peanut butter on a tortilla and threw some trail mix in a sandwich bag. After work you head out and gather more donations. And you never stop moving until you fall into bed, exhausted. Then the alarm goes off all-too-soon and you are up and at it again. You show up for your very first event, and it is freezing and everything seems to be going wrong. The roads are treacherous and rapidly getting worse, and the truck is valuable, so you make the decision to return it to its safe home. And you return to the event in the freezing cold with the snow blowing and piling up without a pause. But you push through and you change plans, and keep going, and you hand out over 400 care packages.
Then you go back to the truck and tend to the things that need your attention there. You also know you need groceries, so you make a stop and get those, but finally, you arrive home. For the first time in nearly three weeks you sit down and relax, savoring the reprieve. Before long, the tears begin to stream as your very grateful heart assimilates and re-plays everything you have done and been through. Your muscles ache so badly, and you are more tired than you can remember being perhaps in your whole life. But you have a passion and you realize it is bigger than you are, and the impossible is happening again and again. And you know, you know without a doubt - you have found your purpose.
You are pursuing your passion and your life overflows.
Leave a Reply.