For Real?

When I was a girl I was a pretty good kid for the most part. In fact, there was only one thing I regularly got into trouble for at school and that was talking too much. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, as I learned with my three daughters, who also talked too much in school. My son was the anomaly of the group. His teachers often told me they wished he would talk more, so they could get to know him. I think living in a home with so many constantly-talking girls just taught him to sit quietly and take it in. His turn to chime in always came eventually and he proved himself more than able to hold his own when it did.

A big component of The Torch lies in being able to talk to people and hold significant conversations about what we are doing and why we are trying to do it. I have had zero problem communicating my heart and answering a bazillion questions about it. In a nutshell, I love God, I love this project, I believe God can make a difference in the world through ordinary people like Sarah and Kelly and me, and I will share my thoughts and feelings and plans with anyone who cares to listen. I am just as good at talking too much now as I was when I was a schoolgirl.

Which is why Sunday afternoon took me utterly by surprise. Sarah and I ventured on an impromptu drive out to Brown City to take a look at the truck. Roger had informed me the appliances were in and looking sharp and he was excited for us to see it. Walking inside that big vehicle and seeing for the first time the actual stove and refrigerator and work spaces and shelves and all of it at once completely overwhelmed me. For possibly the first time in my life I was rendered speechless. A plethora of emotions ran through me all at once. I was enveloped by the very Presence of God in a way I cannot describe. I couldn't speak, because I was seeing all the potential Sarah and I have dreamed of for such a long time come to fruition. I could imagine cooking at that stove and passing food through that window. And the thought of blessing people over and over again through the work we can do with The Torch just caused my spirit to soar. I literally had no words at all. I could not think of one thing to say which would adequately describe the impact that moment had on me.

I stood turning and looking and touching (even though Roger didn't want fingerprints on the stainless steel) and turning and looking some more. I heard Sarah talking and commenting to Roger and his wife Anita, but it was like they were far away. Then it got really quiet and I realized Roger was staring at me, waiting for me to say something. And I still didn't know what to say. I think I squeaked out something like, “I love it. It’s beyond what I even imagined it could be.” But I don’t really know. Even that seems inadequate. He looked relieved, though, so whatever I said must have been enough.

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I had some time to come to my senses today as Sarah and I are working hard on the last details before we bring the truck to town. But the one thing which keeps running through my mind is, “Why have I never done anything like this before?” I have been studying my Bible and trying to make my life line up with God’s Word for twenty-five years. I know His Word and am confident in my daily walk with God. I talk to Him and He answers my prayers and is the One Who never leaves my side even when I feel like I am totally alone in the world. I know the promises He makes about blessing us. And have read hundreds of times how God rewards faith. So with all that head knowledge, why did it take me so long to take a leap of faith and reach for something which could only happen by God’s supernatural blessing and Presence? I cannot count the number of obstacles Sarah and I have faced that God overcame in this process. He has sent incredible people into our lives whom we would never have met without The Torch. He has blessed others who have turned around and blessed us. And He has surprised us again and again along the way. I don’t believe in coincidences in a limited sense, and there is no way anyone could ever tell me we have experienced dozens of coincidences this past year which have put this all together. It just doesn't happen. 

I challenge you now. If there is something you believe God wants you to do, but you cannot possibly do it. Do it. Take the first step. And then the next. And the next. Don’t give up. Don’t be a quitter. Trust Him to come through as He promises He will. God wants to work in this world and all of us plain old unimpressive people are His resources. 

He will take your breath away and leave you speechless with what He does. And when you think about how unlimited the possibilities are with a God for whom nothing is impossible - why would you want to live any other way? I never will again. My life - once more - is forever changed.